"Have a hmmm" before you get behind the wheel

The phone call that all parents dread  

I was working from home and in an online meeting when I saw my wife’s name flash up on my phone.

I ignored the first call but thought I better answer it when she called again.

I sprinted barefoot to the park - the site of my 20-year-old daughter Māia’s car crash only a few blocks from our home in Wellington’s Eastern suburbs. Confronted by glass and tyre marks going all the way up a tree I imagined the worst. 

The crash broke Māia’s wrist and caused a painful neck injury that still sometimes flares up. Things could have been much worse. Fortunately, the car had airbags that helped her avoid serious impact.

James Whitaker, Injury Prevention Programme Lead

The other car was driven by a 20-year-old who failed to give way. They hit Māia’s car on the front left wheel – causing the car to spin, go off the side of the road, into a tree and back onto the road.

The airbags inflated instantly. This preventing Māia from seeing things spin around and the oncoming tree. Māia is thankful for that; it’s prevented flashbacks of these images playing through her mind.

I’m the dad of three girls aged 27, 22 and 14. My wife and I have taught our two eldest daughters and their boyfriends how to drive. In a couple of years, we’ll be teaching our youngest.

A lucky escape

I remember what it was like to be a young person feeling the thrill of driving. I was a teenage dad, and it gave me a sense of maturity and the freedom to escape the city and explore.

On one escape, I was driving back from a surf trip to White Rock on the Wairarapa Coast. I was going a bit too fast for the narrow, winding gravel road.

Another car came around a tight corner and everything went into slow motion. Immediately, my stomach went sick with the fear of not seeing my daughter grow up while simultaneously looking for an exit. To the left, rock wall. To the right, a cliff with no barrier.

Our car was shunted backwards, resting two metres from a cliff edge. We were lucky to walk away with just damage to the car. In hindsight, I’ve thought of many ways I could have prevented that crash.

“Time stood still”

Around that time, I was confronted with the true cost to loved ones when I met my biological grandparents for the first time.

I couldn’t meet my birth father because he was killed a few days after I was born by a drunk driver. The woman had been drinking at the local golf club before she got behind the wheel.

He was 23-years old and changing his car’s tyre on the side of the road.

The woman came over the bridge, swerved into the opposite lane, off the side of the road, and into my dad.

I remember going to my dad’s room where it felt like time had stood still.

I felt their pain in that moment and a fair bit of pressure to have a lot in common with him. It was obvious they were looking to me to keep a bit of him alive. Once again, the crash that killed him was preventable. If only the responsible driver was exactly that. If only they didn’t drive after drinking.

I don’t want my daughters to lose friends or loved ones on the road, or to cause trauma for anyone else.

To help, I can be there to teach and encourage my children to be safe on our roads.

Giving our teenagers the skills to drive safely

It takes courage to get in a car with a teenager.  Their learning doesn’t stop when they pass their restricted licence test. Our research shows young drivers are more likely to crash in the first six months of having a restricted licence than at any other stage in their life. 

We’ve always made sure our daughters drive the family from place to place so we can observe and offer help. It also gives you a chance to praise them when they do the right things. People should never lose track of how important this is.

ACC and Waka Kotahi have developed an online hub called Drive. It has free resources and tools for young drivers and their parents or coaches, to become safe, confident, and capable drivers.

Crashes on our roads are preventable. Please "Have a Hmmm" before you get behind the wheel. Think about the risks and make the right choices to keep you and everyone else safe on our roads.

For resources and tools for young drivers and their coaches visit Drive below. 

DRIVE