Karen’s story: ‘It’s something you never get over’
Heartbroken mother Karen Skellett lost her only son Jack, 23, to a tragic kayaking drowning two years ago. She’s encouraging New Zealanders to avoid her pain by taking care around the water this summer.
I found Jack’s journal the other day. There are parts in there that say ‘I love my mum to bits’. I have good things to read and remember him. I hold onto those moments.
Some days I look at his picture and I laugh and smile, and other days I just want to scream and howl because I don’t have him anymore. You’re glad to have a good day.
The passing of time doesn’t make the pain any easier. At the beginning, I thought I was just so shocked, tearful and heartbroken that in two years I would feel much better. But I don’t.
Because the longer the time passes, the longer it is since I last saw him, and last spoke to him.
Jack Skellett's life was tragically cut short at just 23.
The need to stop and think
We need a wake-up call. Every year, we see the record drowning tolls and it’s not getting any better.
I can tell you losing someone you love to a drowning is something you never get over.
We went travelling last summer in the South Island and saw plenty of incidents that left us shaking our heads.
At Lake Tekapo, we saw a family on a boat that had run out of petrol. They had broken down and were trying to row across the lake, with three kids who didn’t have life jackets on.
You see that sort of decision-making around New Zealand. People don’t stop to think about what they might do if things go wrong.
It means an awful lot that Jack’s friends stay in touch with me to see how I’m doing. I talk with his best friend Tyler on the phone every few weeks.
Most of the other guys have gone travelling and they send me photos from overseas. It makes me sad because I know Jack should be with them.
Karen Skellett with her partner Mark Wallis.
Saving lives in honour of Jack
On the anniversary of Jack’s death, we’re funding a kayaking safety course from the money for Jack’s Givealittle page. It will be run by the local kayak shop, Wildfinder, at Days Bay in Eastbourne, Wellington. We did this last year and got a great response.
It will be a poignant moment to have the course on at the same place where he died.
We need to respect the ocean. We know Jack didn’t have the right kayaking equipment for those conditions – but I doubt he knew that. We need to be more proactive about water safety.
The response to sharing my story has been overwhelming. I’m hugely grateful for that, it made me reflect. There are many people who have lost more than me.
Free kayak safety workshop
To reserve your spot in the free kayak safety workshop (21 December) held in memory of Jack Skellett, please visit the Wildfinder website.
Spaces are limited so make sure you get in quick.
Staying safe on the water
ACC is a proud partner of Water Safety NZ, we encourage all New Zealanders to follow the Water Safety Code.
- Be prepared – Check the weather, your gear and the water conditions.
- Look after yourself and others – Adults, not children or teenagers, should always supervise little people and children around water.
- Be aware of the dangers – Check for rips and currents, snags and rocks and don’t consume alcohol before a swim, dive or going fishing.
- Know your limits – Do you know how to swim? If not, stay out. Remember, you will never be able to swim in the ocean as well as in a pool and cold water will make you tired.
Maritime NZ advice for safe boating
- Ensure everyone wears a life jacket that fits for the whole trip, even the skipper.
- Always take two waterproof ways to call for help.
- Check the marine weather forecast before heading out on the water.
